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Monday, February 07, 2005
Finally... I'm back in front of my computer typing again after such a long time. I was occupied by bowling and tutorials and hence the absence.
Anyway, I decided to update because I saw this old and rusting tin up at the top of my cabinet while I was doing my tutorial. I dropped my pen and brought it down immediately. I opened it up and both the bad and wonderful memories came rolling back. The best was the bottle of white grape flavoured Qoo drink which has already expired since 2 years ago(I think). That bottle of drink was given to me by SC's mother and I couldn't bear to drink it, or even open it, so I left it there, and 3 years passed.
Inside the tin... is a coffee mug, photographs, a hankerchief folded into a heart, a five dollar note folded into a heart, gifts, notes, and also a newspaper cutting taken during the Singapore Youth Science Festival. Memories. I read through everything I could find inside, looked at everything inside, and thought through the times 'we' had. Well, there are moments which were marvellous and times when misunderstandings took over.
I thought about what went wrong and what went right, and thought through if it was a blessing for both of us or only her when it all ended. I guess, it was more of a blessing for her. She had the charms, especially that beautiful smile of hers. Whereas I AM and still am a typical guy, with nothing special except an excellent vocabulary of vulgarities and a whole mind of dirty jokes and stories. We were like heaven and hell, and I am the hell; and I remembered people saying we looked alike, and I seriously think they are just afraid they might offend me - and end up getting beaten up.
I have to admit, even though it ended approximately 2 years ago, I still have feelings for her(I think she doesn't patronise my blog, and hope so), but just... ignored it. Well, I came up with a few quotes while daydreaming, and I think it is really cool, cause' I can't believe I could come up with such weird and nonsensical quotes.
"I've never ever stopped loving you, but just learnt how to live with less of you."
"I will wait for you like how an avid gambler waits to strike a toto and win $1, 000, 000."
"I am willing to be the slave of fate as long as he/she allows me to see you everyday."
Though the quotes seem like I have the intention to go after her, but - NO. I swore to myself not to have anything to do with such relationships. I just want to lead a life with studying and bowling. And thinking about it, bowling is actually like having a girlfriend. It saps your money, drains your energy and EATS your time away; but I love it!
Talking about bowling, DAMN, I've got an aching knee, and the 2.4km run today made it worse. I think I'm either not getting enough slide or I'm sliding with my feet pointing outwards. Shit. Oh yah, I'm getting a pair of SST 5s, LX, Black (B788-1), made of kangaroo leather. I hope after getting these shoes I would be able to have enough slide especially on the tacky synthetic approach, and I'll make sure I'm sliding with my feet pointing at my target.
I'm off... to take a bath, followed by my dinner and dive into my tutorials!
Up Saints!
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