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Sunday, December 25, 2005
The very this day last year was absolutely splendid - because I had a great time at this Special Person(SP)'s house. In contrast, this year, there wasn't even any exchange between this SP, SP's family and I. I feel terrible. They have treated me dearly, and have already settled down in a corner of my heart. I do not wish to find any excuses for myself, but it was plain forgetfulness and I lost track of the time while rushing through my holiday assignments. I really feel bad.
Well, I'm not sure why, but they have always been in my mind. Maybe because I've not learnt to let go yet? Just learnt how to live without this SP and SP's family? I read about this blog, http://trompeloeil.blogspot.com, on the Straits Times and decided to read it. The post, "Easing the Door Shut", is a really good post. It really got my eyes a little wet because it brings back memories. Well, you guys should read some other of his/her posts, because it's really not bad.
Well, frankly speaking, my age is inversely proportional to the interest and enthusiasm towards Christmas; basically because Christmas is so near to the day school reopens. To make things worse, examinations become more and more important as I further my studies. And next year is the year I am going to sit for my 'A'Levels Examinations. Christmas is almost lost.
Looking back, the importance and significance of having Christmas diminishes year-after-year after I realise the existence of Santa is nothing but a story. Thinking again, if I'm not wrong, Christmas is actually all about caring and sharing, celerating the birth of Christ, and that's why there's the exchange of gifts and family reunions. Yet, I don't feel the Christmas spirit - sad but true. I hate to face this fact. Reality sucks.
Thankfully, our family actually tried gathering at my aunt's house to have a Christmas lunch, though not all of them were present. Looking at my cousins, who were so little and tiny a few years back, makes me realise time really f**king flies. The adults were also aging. As I scanned through the dining hall, I kept wondering what will all our futures be like. Will we still be gathering? Will we be blinded by greed like most Singaporeans already are? Maybe I think too much.
Anyway, I have 1 Christmas present which ain't that bad, you know? Haha. It's a book of Sudoku puzzles from my aunt on the maternal side. She's the one who always gives presents. Courteous too. I've always liked her, ever since I saw my uncle marry her. NOT AS IN THAT KINDA LIKED, but you know... yeah. Maybe I should get her something next year. May god bless her.
Hmmm, well, I think I'm going off now, to start on the Sudoku puzzles. :) Shall update before school reopens if I can. Meanwhile, Merry Christmas to everyone! May the Christmas spirit be up again, spreading the spirit of "care and share".
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